September 3, 2012
The roads are paved with good intentioned people who never follow through . . .
I'm a person who lives by the moral code of keeping one's word. It could be a tiny word that I use to promise something to someone, but if I give them my tiny word, I still keep it. And, I don't promise something unless I'm sure I can deliver it. I don't tell people what they want to hear. If I say I'm going to call you but can't, then I will give you a quick call to tell you that I can't talk today but that I'll call when I can. I don't believe in leaving people hanging. Either way, when I give my word and something comes up, I let the person know that something's come up.
I don't make big promises that I can't keep. I won't promise that I can help you move if I think I can't. I won't promise that I'll come visit you Tuesday if there's a doubt in my mind that I may not be able to. In other words, I would say something like this: "If I have time, I'll come over to your house. But either way, I'll call to let you know."
This is what I mean by not keeping someone hanging.
When someone tells me they're going to call me at a certain time and they don't, that pisses me off. If someone says that they'll call me tomorrow and they don't, that pisses me off. Don't say things you don't mean. Don't make promises you know you won't keep. At the very least, give a fast email or quick call to tell me that something came up---as a courtesy so that I can move on with my day.
Isn't my time as valuable as the next guy's? Aren't my feelings as valuable as someone elses? Aren't I worthy of another's respect? Yes, I AM!
Here's another thing that makes me lose faith in a person. If you tell me you're going to give me something and don't, that will make me lose faith. If you say you're going to give me an answer about something but don't, that will make me lose faith. If you say you're going to meet me and not show up, I would wait and call you several times to see what the problem is. But if you don't answer your phone and don't contact me, trust me, you won't get a second chance to do it to me again.
I guess the bottom line to my rant is this: you're only as good as your word.
Now I know things come up and a person can actually forget. There are extenuating circumstances in life that prevent a person from keeping to their commitment. It happens. If it's the first time you've done this to me, I would not get upset. I've legitimately forgotten things over the years, but when I've remembered, an apology was always given.
I'm not perfect, but I've learned many valuable lessons concerning the feelings of others. The respect I want and deserve is the respect I give to another. I wouldn't do to you what I wouldn't want done to me. If you tell me you're going to do me a favor and don't, shame on you.
To the people who do these non-caring disrespectful acts, you may be thinking that it's no biggie that you don't call or follow through with your promises. You may be thinking that you have more important things to do and that your friend will understand. You may be thinking that the other person probably doesn't mind, or care, if you don't call or come by or follow through with your pre-made plans. But you're in denial if you believe that it doesn't matter. So, to the people who don't care about an other's feelings, here's a scenario for you:
Imagine that you're waiting for a major phone call. This call may be from the guy you met last night who said he'd call. Or, this call could be from the interviewer of the job you applied for the other day. Imagine wanting and waiting to hear back from these people? Imagine staring at the phone all day or checking your emails to see if they wrote you? Imagine how you would feel if that guy never called, even though he swore he would? Or never hearing back from the job you want so badly? Think about what you'd say to yourself and to your friends if this were to happen. Would you say something like this? "The least they could have done was to call and let me know."
In this life, we get what we give. I give people the courtesy of contacting them if I can't keep to what I have said. It was a lesson learned years ago and has stuck with me. Yet, not many will do the same. Maybe I'm an instrument for your lesson to be learned by you.
Just sayin' . . .