December 21, 2012
STICK A FORK IN ME. I'M DONE
My eyes shot open at 4 a.m. and as I gained full awareness, I heard the rain tapping against my bedroom window pane--sounding like tiny pellets of ice. I pulled the covers closer to my chin and snuggled into my warm comforter. And as I did, I relaxed back into that glorious state between consciousness and coma---the state where total chaos resides, where you're on the edge of existence. I was just about there when I jumped into attention and thought, Am I still alive?
I flipped over to look at the time and as I did, pushed the covers to the side and sat up. As I stared into the darkness I made a silent huff. Yeah. That's right. I'm still here. And if I'm not here, then wherever here is, is now where I am. And if this is death than death is exactly like life because nothing feels out-of-place or wrong.
I got out of the bed and went into the kitchen to turn on the coffee pot and as I proceeded into my office to turn on my laptop, I couldn't help but think that it's the fault of man that we, the people, are always put into a state of panic.
I blame the media. I blame all those well-meaning broadcasters who think they are doing the world a great service by giving us the gruesome details of how man is destroying himself and his planet. Think about it. If people didn't turn on the news, or TV for that matter, then they wouldn't know about a crime committed on the other side of the world; which would then go unnoticed by them, and not reenacted in their minds . . a gazillion times, causing them to suffer the fear that whatever they watched or heard could be done to them. People wouldn't have ideas planted in their heads on how to commit the perfect murder that they just watched on the news--as they stare at their significant other and think, I didn't know you could inject cyanide into a banana ... hmmm. Good to know.
If people didn't listen to the media, they wouldn't be gathering in churches and groups, praying for redemption, and begging God to forgive their lifes' indiscretions. Seriously? What the f$$?
I am sick of the freakin' media. I am sick of hearing about how wrong our world is. I am sick of everyone discussing it day and night. I am sick of being sick. So, here's what I'm going to do. I am not discussing Sandy Hook or Hurricane Sandy. I am not discussing September 11th. I am not discussing Pearl Harbor nor the Texas massacre or Jesus being crucified 2500 years ago. I am not. If you want to live a happy life, you have to let go of the drama and focus on what a beautiful world we were born into. I can't bear to hear it anymore. I don't know about you, but I'm done.
It's 9:23 a.m. and I AM STILL HERE. And until the good Lord takes me, I'm going to do everything in my power to belief in the goodness of man and this beautiful life I was given.