September 21, 2012

HELP ME! I'M SABOTAGING MYSELF AND I CAN'T GET UP


just when we're on the verge of reaching our goals, something happens to shoot us down. And it happens every time we get to the edge of reaching success



Sabotage is one of those words that make most of us cringe. When I think of the word sabotage, I think of people deliberately trying to screw up my life. But then I got to learning. And when I found out that we sabotage our own lives, I thought, hmmm. I better look into this.

Most of you know that I've studied the subconscious mind for a gazillion years, and I continue to do so everyday. So when I delved into the Law of Attraction, the Law of Cause and Effect, and a few other universal laws, I came to validate, through these studies and through my own findings and experiences, that we DO sabotage ourselves all day long. But how?

We go through life with blinders on, which obviously isn't a productive way to live. When bad situations come our way, we tend to think it's the outside world doing something to us. We believe that the world is wrong and that people, and God, are against us. It's never our fault; it's always someone elses. Well guess what? It is our fault. We are the ones causing our own grief. And I realize when I say this that some of you may click off this blog because you don't want to believe or accept that you are creating your own strife. But I'm okay with that. Because I know the truth of how the mind works, and by practicing certain principals and digging deep to find answers, I'm living proof of how we can climb the ladder of success in order to have happy lives.

You see, life is an extremely tricky and difficult existence when you stay complacent. Life can be torture if you don't question your existence. Life can even be not worth living if we don't challenge ourselves to find our purpose. So, how is it that we come to sabotage ourselves?
We want good things. We want money. We want love. We want health. We tell ourselves all day long that we want. So why aren't we getting what we want? What is keeping the marvels of life at a distance?

The answer . . . our underlying beliefs.

Now, this is not a small issue. Our core beliefs are established between infancy and approximately seven years of age. It's during these critical years that our subconscious is open to full suggestion. We're not living with defense mechanisms. We don't have our ego-based guards up. We observe and soak up all the events and emotions of those around us. We watch them. We listen. And then we mimick. And it's these observations which then become our realities.

If we live in a household of fighting parents who argue over money and say negative things about money, we are going to absorb this and make it our belief. If we observe our parents drinking and getting drunk, smoking or getting high, or doing other things that aren't going to benefit us down the road, we're going to take it in without question; believing that this is the way of life. As we grow up, and continue to see this behavior from our parents or surroundings, not only have we established the core belief that marriage sucks, it's okay to smoke, only the rich get richer, money is evil, pot is okay for your health, to be drunk all day is okay if my mother or father is doing it; fighting is how to live--- we will unconsciously believe it, and therefore do one of two things: live it or be so frightented by it that we go the other way. Why?

Because our subconscious is similiar to a computer. Our subconscious stores the program that runs our behavior and direction. All our early beliefs about life have been fed into it by our observations, and now, the subconscious runs this program and will continue to do so until we change the program---which may be never if we don't learn about ourselves.

If you have a computer, you know the computer runs the software that's been installed. And the computer doesn't know to do anything other than run what's been installed. We cannot change this fact; just like we cannot change how our mental computer runs its software. Right?
But what happens if we change the software on our computer? We get a different program. We get a different outcome. Whatever software we install is what the computer spits out.

So think of our core beliefs as the software which our subconscious computer runs. Our core beliefs are running all day long, and its Godly design is to seek out validation (output, manifestation) of these beliefs from the outside world---NO MATTER WHAT WE CONSCIOUSLY believe. In other words, if we've watched and observed our parents fighting over money, and heard them saying that money is evil and causes nothing but problems, and that only the rich get rich and life is unfair, AND then watched how they have struggled to make ends meet, more than likely we will have the core belief that money is evil. Now, if we have this core belief, and if we've watched our parents struggle, then we've made an unconscious correlation that to have money is evil and to struggle is the only way to earn a living. Now keep in mind that this IS YOUR SOFTWARE, and since it's the subconscious' job to seek out validation of its beliefs, it does, and it will deliver to you circumstances and situations to line up with its beliefs. Whatever its beliefs are.

So let's say you want a job and you line up this great interview. You prepare. You're ready. You're going to get this job; at least that's what you consciously tell yourself. But on the day of your interview, you're late. On the day of the interview, you mess up. On the day of the interview, you say the wrong thing. You don't understand how it happened. You didn't mean to say the answers you gave. You didn't mean to get there late. What went wrong?

You sabotaged yourself unknowingly. In your thinking, you wanted the job. In your thinking, you deserved the job; but subconsciously you didn't believe you were worth it. Subconsciously you believed that you must struggle in order to earn a living. Subconsciously you believed that money is evil. And since the subconscious is Godly designed to deliver your beliefs by seeking out all situations and circumstances, by exuding these energy beliefs into the universe, you attract that which you subconsciously believe; no matter what you think you believe.

How do we know what we subconsciously believe? Stop what you're doing and look around your house or apartment. Go to your window and look out. Look at your car. Do you have a car? Look at your neighborhood. Is this where you want to live. Look at your job, your friends, your relationship, your money situation. Is your life where you want it to be? Are you thin and healthy? If you answer no to these questions, despite that you want all these good things, then your core belief is that you don't deserve these good things, for whatever reasons that were installed.

There are ways to find out what your core beliefs are. There's muscle testing, various lines of questioning, meditation, all types of ways to find out what you really believe. Simply put, sit quietly for several minutes and when your mind is quiet ask yourself: why don't I have money? Why is it just when I'm at the brink of success something derails me? Ask, and you will get the answers. Why will you get the answers? BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT YOU ARE CREATED TO DO: YOU ARE CREATED TO SEEK ANSWERS in order to evolve into the image you were created in.

We are made in God's image, which simply means that we are designed by nature to have it all and be it all. We are designed by nature to seek God. We are designed to evolve into God's image.

So. Are you telling yourself one thing and getting something else? It's about time to find out why.

September 16, 2012

GOD IS YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS---oh, you didn't know?

What is our subconscious?

It's the key to mankind. It's the processor of all events, all the information, all the feelings, all the intentions and all the imagination you possess. It's the storehouse for all memories. It's the boat which is steered by our thoughts. It's our lifeline to the other side. It's the facilitator to all good things, bad things, and even death. The subconscious, a deeper part of our mind, is the kingdom where all magic happens. It holds our secrets; our fears; our deviant deeds, and all the answers we need to get by in this physical life. It regulates our bodies; its functions and tells it to be healthy or to be sick.

It's a mysterious mechanism, yet simple to use if understood.

The subconscious mind DOES NOT FUNCTION BY MERE WORDS, NOR DOES IT DISTINGUISH between right and wrong. The subconscience mind is neutral. It doesn't know the meaning of good or bad. It doesn't work like that. It runs according to our core beliefs and our dominant feelings---which transmutes to pure energy vibrating at various levels. Our core beliefs, and the feelings we have assigned to them, have been established through our experiences. Therefore, if feelings feed the subconscious, wouldn't it make sense that we feed it good feelings?

Now . . .

Let's talk about words and their effect in our lives.
If you think of the word peace, instantaneously you're imagining peaceful images; whether you're aware of it or not. If you think of the word war, you're imagining horrendous images such as death and crime. So, if your subconscious mind cannot distinguish words, what happens when we use these words?

Let's say at this very moment you're thinking: I WISH WE WEREN'T AT WAR

You may think that you're wishing for peace when you state I WISH WE WEREN'T AT WAR because that is your thought. But when you're saying to yourself the word war, there are images and feelings instantaneously associated with it. Without realizing it, you're imagining bombs and fires and soldiers killing the enemy. It happens within nano-seconds because you're conditioned to process thoughts instantaneously. THEREFORE,  when you think the word war, regardless of how you use it, the images, along with their feelings that you're sending the subconscious mind---which are bloody battlefields, unfortunately will be delivered to you in the physical world. Your subconscious will not bring you peace because you didn't use the word peace--which in itself, conjures up an entirely different image and feeling.

NOW . . .

Let's say you're thinking this very moment: I WISH THERE WAS PEACE ON EARTH. The very fact that you switched the sentence and wished for peace, evokes thoughts and images of calm, loving, smiling people getting along with each other. You may not realize that this is happening, but it is. Keep in mind that we are taught to communicate with words and pictures. Then during our lifetimes, we attach feelings to our words, and assign meaning to them through our perception and life experiences. What one person sees as beautiful, another may not. But one thing that's universal is how we depict war and how we depict peace. Using the word peace fills you with the mental image and feeling of love. Peace now is your dominant feeling, whether you realize it or not, and the subconscious mind will deliver only what is dominantly felt.

The subconscious mind, also, is no respector of persons. Now, where did you hear something similar to this? In the Bible, remember? The Bible states that God is no respector of persons. What exactly does this mean?

God is consciousness. God is universal mind. Our conscious---you know, the thing that keeps us aware of life, where we have all these crazy conversations and images---is our direct contact with God's consciousness. It is NOT our brains. This thing, this field where we think and talk to ourselves and where we pick up on things, stands alone. It's our antennae to universal oneness with each human being and all living creatures on this planet. We all share a piece of this universal God-consciousness. This is what we are. We are pure consciousness with a physical body who are here to experience feelings and to actualize ourselves. Without being conscious, without consciousness, we wouldn't exist. We wouldn't know that we didn't exist.
Therefore, if God, our conscious, is no respector of persons, which means He doesn't know bad or good, only feelings, He will deliver to you all that you feel strongly about. Using words and picking them cautiously is critical to life on earth and your personal experience with it. You will get what you truly feel---whether it's good or bad!

God, our consciousness---the field of creativity---answers prayers. He will deliver what you ask for, will give you what you desire. Either way. He does not prejudice against the words you use; He only works according to the feelings behind the words. This means that you have to be careful of what you say because whether you know it or not, each word you use has been assigned a meaning and feeling. You have exercised your free will. With free will, you can choose your meaning to words and to life. You can choose what you want to say. You can choose your path. When you know universal law and when you understand what and who God is, and when you understand how the mind works, including the subconscious part of it, and when you put it all together, and begin doing good things deliberately, you are on your way to the creating the greatest aspect of you. You begin to play God. You begin to act like God. Why? Because you are made in His image, that's why.

What is the Law of Attraction: every increment of existence vibrates. All good things vibrate at higher levels. All negative things vibrate at low levels. Using good words, with good meanings attached to them, sends out high energy vibrations that automatically attract and seek out other vibrations equal to itself. Things like abundance, good health, love . . .

Don't you see? You want good things, set your mind to it. Otherwise you'll get what you really ask for.

September 9, 2012

Letting Go~~~Nothing Left to Lose



Not escaping the clutches of man's powerful grip
it renders me trapped with no way out
Bars of interwoven thoughts--energy made of steel
it seems I can't will it away
their links are not of this world

I can only imagine peace
I dream of when it will come
lavished in wealth beyond any measure
my freedom dome
gateway
to the stairway of my heaven

But unless I give you the power to break me
I can't be broken
Nor will you be able to threaten my world
or tear it down


Real freedom comes when you know you have nowhere to go but up
When you've sunken so low that you become aware that you have nothing more to lose

It's when you've come to grips with the idea that everything you're afraid of losing has power over you; that if you would let go of those things . . . then you will be free


September 4, 2012

Why He Really Cheated


 



 
excerpt from Note to Self . . .
 
 
There was silence. She was giving my statement a moment of reflection. Finally she said, “Jess, I have to be honest with you. I love my kids, but sometimes I wish I never had them. I know they can take care of themselves but somewhere deep inside, I blame them for Jon leaving me.”

Hearing her say those words immediately made my analytical-therapist-self kick into gear. “Tina,” I said with an air of profundity, “your kids aren’t the reason why Jon cheated on you. I’m sure he loves the kids. You want—wait, let me correct that. You need someone to blame, and the kids seem the more logical choice. To admit to yourself that Jon left you—left Tina—is admitting that you’re fallible and human. You didn’t hold up to your end of the marital bargain. You let yourself go, and you want to blame having three babies as your reason. But what you tell yourself, delusional as it is, is something that most women tell themselves when their husbands cheat on them. Do you get what I’m saying?”

Again there was silence, and I was waiting for her to tell me to go fuck myself.

“You’re right,” she said in a softer voice. “I used the kids as an excuse to binge and not exercise. I gave my attention to them and at the end of the day, I was too freakin’ tired to fix myself up and play Stepford wife. And you know what’s really bothering me?”

“Tell me,” I said.

“What’s really bothering me is that I knew it all along. I knew that I was letting myself go. I knew that Jon was losing interest. It was obvious by the way he was acting—only I chose not to see it because seeing it meant that there was something wrong with me. I wasn’t that perfect looking girl from high school. It’s entirely . . .  my . . . fault.”

She broke into a quiet sob.

“Tina,” I said, trying to calm her, “it’s not your fault. Can I tell you something?”

“Please,” she sniffled, “tell me anything, just as long as it helps my broken heart.”

“When someone cheats, it’s not you they’re cheating on. There’s something within them that’s empty and can’t be fulfilled. It may feel like it’s being done to you because you’re the one suffering the consequences of the infidelity. Those who hurt others, whether through jealous acts of vengeance or infidelities, do it because they’re hurting deep down. You have to believe me on this. I’ve studied the mind for a long time, and the people who come to me for help aren’t any different from you or me. We’re emotional beings, and when we feel unfulfilled, when we think we’re not good enough, we subconsciously seek out situations to either validate it or reject it. He cheated on you for the same reasons Kevin cheated on me. They both needed to feel young—to be validated—because deep down, they believe they’re over the hill—that they’ve lost it. We were too busy to make them feel better about themselves, so they sought out others who would.”

Her sobbing seemed to have slowed down, and she took in a long breath, as if she was giving my statement full consideration. “Dear God, Jess. What you just said, could it be true? Do people really cheat because they feel unfulfilled?”
“They do, Tina. It’s the only reason they cheat." 
 

**To purchase Note to Self, just go to the right of this page and click on any of the Note to Self links


September 3, 2012



The roads are paved with good intentioned people who never follow through . . .



I'm a person who lives by the moral code of keeping one's word. It could be a tiny word that I use to promise something to someone, but if I give them my tiny word, I still keep it. And, I don't promise something unless I'm sure I can deliver it. I don't tell people what they want to hear. If I say I'm going to call you but can't, then I will give you a quick call to tell you that I can't talk today but that I'll call when I can. I don't believe in leaving people hanging. Either way, when I give my word and something comes up, I let the person know that something's come up.

I don't make big promises that I can't keep. I won't promise that I can help you move if I think I can't. I won't promise that I'll come visit you Tuesday if there's a doubt in my mind that I may not be able to. In other words, I would say something like this: "If I have time, I'll come over to your house. But either way, I'll call to let you know."
This is what I mean by not keeping someone hanging.

When someone tells me they're going to call me at a certain time and they don't, that pisses me off. If someone says that they'll call me tomorrow and they don't, that pisses me off. Don't say things you don't mean. Don't make promises you know you won't keep. At the very least, give a fast email or quick call to tell me that something came up---as a courtesy so that I can move on with my day.

Isn't my time as valuable as the next guy's? Aren't my feelings as valuable as someone elses? Aren't I worthy of another's respect? Yes, I AM!

Here's another thing that makes me lose faith in a person. If you tell me you're going to give me something and don't, that will make me lose faith. If you say you're going to give me an answer about something but don't, that will make me lose faith. If you say you're going to meet me and not show up, I would wait and call you several times to see what the problem is. But if you don't answer your phone and don't contact me, trust me, you won't get a second chance to do it to me again.

I guess the bottom line to my rant is this: you're only as good as your word.

Now I know things come up and a person can actually forget. There are extenuating circumstances in life that prevent a person from keeping to their commitment. It happens. If it's the first time you've done this to me, I would not get upset. I've legitimately forgotten things over the years, but when I've remembered, an apology was always given.

I'm not perfect, but I've learned many valuable lessons concerning the feelings of others. The respect I want and deserve is the respect I give to another. I wouldn't do to you what I wouldn't want done to me. If you tell me you're going to do me a favor and don't, shame on you.

To the people who do these non-caring disrespectful acts, you may be thinking that it's no biggie that you don't call or follow through with your promises. You may be thinking that you have more important things to do and that your friend will understand. You may be thinking that the other person probably doesn't mind, or care, if you don't call or come by or follow through with your pre-made plans. But you're in denial if you believe that it doesn't matter. So, to the people who don't care about an other's feelings, here's a scenario for you:

Imagine that you're waiting for a major phone call. This call may be from the guy you met last night who said he'd call. Or, this call could be from the interviewer of the job you applied for the other day. Imagine wanting and waiting to hear back from these people? Imagine staring at the phone all day or checking your emails to see if they wrote you? Imagine how you would feel if that guy never called, even though he swore he would? Or never hearing back from the job you want so badly? Think about  what you'd say to yourself and to your friends if this were to happen. Would you say something like this? "The least they could have done was to call and let me know."

In this life, we get what we give. I give people the courtesy of contacting them if I can't keep to what I have said. It was a lesson learned years ago and has stuck with me. Yet, not many will do the same.  Maybe I'm an instrument for your lesson to be learned by you.

Just sayin' . . .