April 15, 2008

You Killed Me

Your Words Are Killing Me

Words. A single distinct meaningful element of speech used with other words or alone to form a sentence. One word, one solitary syllable could shape our existence; put a bunch of words together and you could rule the world or start a revolution. Yes, one word can impact our lives and give or take away its relevance, reason, and spirit. Yes, one melodious, sugar-coated sentence can bring us to our knees and break our hearts. It's hard to fathom that this one utterance can make a person jump for joy or make them cry out in despair. It's beyond my comprehension how we hide behind masks made of syllables that slowly drip honey from our lips in an effort to deceive ... our only crime is to believe.

I'm a person of words. I'm big on words. Because behind my well crafted syllables lie my thoughts and true intentions. Behind the smile of my eyes resides my agenda. So are the syllables that I speak meaningful and true? Or are they powerful swords used to take down my ememies?
What about our actions? Do they speak louder than words? Have you ever been a victim of a lie? Let me tell you about words ...

There's so much to be said about a person's behavior. If someone really loves you, they show it. There aren't any games and definitely no lies. There isn't any doubt or second-guessing. When someone loves you, they're there, all the way. And if someone doesn't love you, nothing you could do or say could change it.

Years ago, I didn't get this. I didn't get it that you couldn't make a person do what they didn't want to do. But I should have been the first to understand it. I didn't love my ex-husband, Jack, and I didn't want to be with him--and I acted like I didn't want to be with him. So if someone didn't love me, wouldn't they act the same?
Even though I dated a guy who said he loved me, he left me stranded one New Year's Eve. I should have realized that his promise to be with me were only words--words that comforted me, yet made me vulnerable. But I knew about words, and I knew about their power. I was an expert. But one thing about words and me. I always said what I meant and meant what I said. I hated it when someone told me something and then went against it. I despised the fact that another person didn't care or respect me enough to follow through with their promises or plans. But then again, that was me. I learned not to say things that I didn't mean. I learned that saying any old thing to pacify someone was cruel and unfair. I learned that if I say something then I have to keep my promise.

Words ... mere utterances that can rip out our hearts or make us float on a cloud.

©2008 valentine defrancis. all rights reserved

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