"You already know this, Val. You've been told this many times. You have even written about it, repeated it out loud, taught it, but when are you going to understand it?" she asked.
I stopped short, in the middle of the street, and cautiously looked around--there wasn't a soul to be found.
"What are you specifically referring to?" I calmly asked.
Without hesitation, she came back at me. "You want fame and success. You want your purpose to come to fruition. You want to set the example--to teach the truth of how to rise above. You want the world to know that the power of their minds is the whole key to a happy and fulfilling life, yet you negate every single word you say by your thoughts and actions."
"I do not!" I yelled back.
"You do," she calmly said.
"Prove it," I snapped back. "Tell me how. Explain to me once again, if you're able to."
Her response was immediate. "Do you believe in God? Do you believe in a divine source? Do you?"
"Of course I do. And you already know that," I replied.
"Do you believe that God the Father, your divine, knower of all, creator of all, loving and pure, who is of all perfection that we cannot fathom, is a true and loving God?"
"What kind of question is that?" I asked. "Yes, of course I do. I understand this very perfectly. So what's your point, because honestly, I don't know where you're going with this?"
"If you really believe that God is loving and pure, then why do you doubt that He will take care of you and help you?"
"I don't doubt it," I said defensively.
"Yes you do," she said. "By dwelling on the negative, you are basically saying that God won't take care of you, or that God can't take care of you, or even that God doesn't exist. Right?"
"Well, I don't know. I always thought that I had to beg Him to get His attention."
"Val, follow me carefully. If you believe that God is loving, and that He will always love you, and that He will never fail you or let you down . . . if you truly believe that God is your life, and that you are a part of His being, do you really think that He would let you get sick or be homeless or go hungry?"
I kept walking, now picking up pace, trying to process what was actually going on in my head.
"You need to be more specific, please," I said.
"Val, listen to me. God will always give you what you want -- whatever that may be. He will always take care of you. If it's money and fame, good health and friendships, whatever it is that you want you will have, but on one condition."
"What's that?" I eagerly asked.
"By believing," she said.
"I do believe," I snapped back.
"Oh really? You totally believe that God is giving? You really believe that He's listening to you?"
"Umm, well, yeah, I guess. Most of the time I believe."
"Val, by not believing 100 percent, by continually asking Him to help you, by continually asking Him to prove it to you, by continually thinking that things aren't working out and that there isn't any use in trying, what is it that you are actually saying to yourself and to God? Think for a minute," she asked.
"I'm not so sure," I began to stammer. "Could you please tell me?"
"Val, by not believing that your Father will take care of you, what you are really saying to Him is that you actually don't believe in Him . . . at all. Do you follow me?"
I stopped short once again to let a car go by, and then continued on. "What? Are you kidding me?" I yelled. "Of course I believe in Him. I love Him and can't be without Him. I don't want Him to ever think that I don't love Him. Please, what can I do to fix this?"
"Believe that if God is with you that He would never, ever, under any circumstance desert you. Believe that you WILL GET what you want by not negating your beliefs. In other words, no matter what happens, if you remain contradictory to your thoughts, by acting negatively through your actions, you will get the opposite of what you want. But understand this ... He will give you anything as long as you continue to believe that you are and always will be cared for by Him -- there can't be doubt--not one shred of it. So, if you ask for money, and you really, truly believe that He's perfect and loving, and that He will take care of all your needs, then you really have to know that He'll give you what you want because He is of pure abundance and love."
"Wait, let me see if I get this. So what you're saying is, if I really believe that God exists, and that He's a source of pure love and purpose, then by believing negative things about me and my life is essentially saying that I don't believe that God is what He claims. I'm calling Him a fraud. I'm saying that He can't give me what I want. I telling Him that I don't trust Him and have no faith in Him. Holy cow, is that what I have been doing all along? In one hand I say that I believe in Him and that He loves me, yet in the other hand, I continually ask for His help, His love, His guidance. I continually speak of my hardships, my unhappy life. I actually act like He doesn't love me, don't I?"
I was prompted to look down, and when I did, there was money on the ground. I knew it was a sign.
"Val, I'm on the other side. I know everything by existing in this realm. In the fleshly world, you don't know the truth of how to exist and how to will what you want into your life, but that is why you are there, why all of us are and were born into fleshly bodies. We're born to learn about God. We can have anything and everything if we seek Him. We can be healthy if we understand that He wants us to be healthy. We can have riches if we understand that He wants us to have abundance. So where does all the hate, poverty, wars, punishment, and destruction come in?"
"Where, where?" I quickly asked.
She giggled and clapped her hands in the revelation that was about to happen to me. "It comes from each human, Val. There isn't a devil. That was an analogy that the writer's of the Bible used to make a point. The Devil is actually the negative side to the positive, and that is why the Lord wants us to think and act positive, because by doing that we are truly seeking Him and believing in Him and not man. When we focus on the negative, we are focusing on manmade beliefs and perceptions. Get it?"
"Oh my gosh! Wow. You mean all this time, I've been sabotaging myself by not believing that I will get what I want? That by not believing that
God will take care of me, I have been a total hypocrite? Why didn't you tell me sooner?"
"I did. But you wouldn't listen. You wanted to listen, and you tried, but you weren't ready to understand it. Do you now understand it?"
"I can't believe how simple it really is. If I think about God and that He will never let me down, and trust that He is the source of abundance and total positive energy and love, then He can't let me down because I am lined up to what He is. If I focus on the negative, it's like not believing that God exists and that is a slap in his face. I got it. Wow. Thank you so much. NO wonder I've been having my struggles."
"Oh, and more more thing, Val ... "
"I'm listening," I said.
"When you start to feel down because of the people and events that are around you, immediately say to yourself ... Father, I seek you and your love, and I know you will never, ever, fail me. I will stay focused on you always."
Val's book of revelation, according to her mom
Master of the Realm