Forgiving isn't easy. In fact, it's probably one of the hardest things to do. When someone has lashed out at us, or betrayed us, we get this anger that rushes through our bodies and into our heads, and the first thing we think is that we'll never talk to that person again. Isn't that the truth? So we harbor this resentment, and keep our anger towards this person in the forefront of our minds; after all, we have the right to be pissed at this person, and we have every right to show it. Don't we? How dare they betray us! How dare they say those horrible things! We're going to stay mad at them, and we're not giving in. And we're going to tell everyone we know about what this person had done to us and how they've ruined our lives. And we're going to let it fester, and bubble, and grow, until it's the biggest event since the birth of Jesus. AND WE WON'T CAVE! WE HAVE OUR GOD-GIVEN RIGHT TO STAY PISSED.
I know that anyone reading this has been there and done that. So here's the deal. I'm going to break this down and hopefully dissect this so that you can understand why forgiving is the best thing you can do for yourself. Yes, for you--not for the person who has hurt you.
I always thought that forgiving someone would let the other person off the hook--that the person would think that whatever they had done was no big deal and that they had gotten away with hurting me. And this was my belief for most of my life. And when someone hurt me, I kept that anger alive and held onto it for years. But several years ago, when my connection to the other side was made, I was shown the truth about what happens to our minds, bodies, and to our lives when we don't forgive.
Anger serves a purpose. It tells us that we're off track with who we are. It tells us that someone invaded our right to be right. It tells us that someone humiliated us--disregarded our feelings--without caring. But why do we get so angry? Cheating, abandonment, and betrayals are big offenses towards the ego. When it happens to us, we're crushed. And we're supposed to feel the anger. Our anger was given to us as a guide. We're supposed to acknowledge it, question why we're so offended and hurt, and then let it go. But why?
Anger means that someone stepped into our egotistical space and challenged us. If you've studied the ego, you'll learn that our ego wants to play the role of God, here on earth. It believes that it has full control. But it's a facade. Ego is a defense mechanism, and according to the way we were raised and according to our core beliefs, the ego's job is to protect our beliefs---regardless if our beliefs are on or off the actual truth. So when someone invades our ego's space and does something that we have no control over, we torment ourselves because we can't believe that we weren't clever enough or intelligent enough to catch-on to the betrayal. We can't get over the idea that another person would think that we weren't good enough. But here's the catch. Now listen very carefully. When someone does something to hurt you, it's not you who they are attacking. It's not about you--ever. They are thinking of themselves and what's good for them. It's their ego that is feeling crushed or bruised, and so, they will do whatever they have to do to repair it; and nine times out of ten that means seeking immediate gratification to boost the way they feel, regardless of who they're hurting. It's not about you. It's never about you. It's always about the other person. So it's like a chain reaction. Each human is out for themselves. Yes! It's a fact. No matter how you slice and dice it, the bottom line is that each human puts their needs first. They have to. It's the way the physical world was created.
Now, when we don't forgive, it affects our bodies and our minds. It causes mental and physical ailments. It's been proven. Anger causes heart attacks, cancers, back aches, anxiety disorders, panic attacks, and the list is endless. So listen. If you understand what anger does to you, why keep it? You want to feel good every day of your life. You want to be happy and healthy. You want to live your one life the way it was meant to live. You come first in the eyes of God. It's your God-given birth right to create a spectacular life for yourself by learning about who you are and how you can pick and choose what's best for you. Listen up. You can choose to not let someone's betrayal affect you. It's a choice. And it's a great thing to be able to choose to let it go or not let it go. By letting it go, and understanding that people are people doing whatever they have to do to get through the day, then you'll understand that it's never about you. It's always about them. And if you really think about it, you do what you have to do to make yourself feel good, every single day. You may think that you're being unselfish by putting someone's needs first, but deep down, you're putting someone's needs first because you want them to like you. It's about you, every single time; and the same is true for each human on this planet. It's about them.
People, this is deep. This is huge. This is worth learning and accepting. When you learn about who you are and why you are and why you're here, you can learn to forgive. Let the anger go. It's never really about you. It may seem that it is, but it's the other person's insecurities than drive them to do what they do. You were just in the way of the bullet. Let it go. Look to God and He'll show you the way. I swear this to you. Dissect your anger and learn the reason why you're really mad and then ask God to help you. Do it for you, because you come first.